Waïki Harnais

Off the fence

“Because sitting on the fence for so long hurts after a while…”

For the ephemeral thoughts that really aren’t worth blogging about…

[*New* ones added every week]

*New* On Instagram and the rise of the ‘Fake photographers’: There is a new “proverb” out there, it goes like this: “Nowadays everyone on Instagram thinks they’re a photographer”. Do you know what annoys me the most about this statement? I have never ever heard anyone on Instagram claim they’re a “photographer”. Most people know that being a photographer takes more than just pressing a button on your smartphone, it takes knowledge, skills, and even after acquiring those two things, you still need a certain amount of flair, talent, natural ability and attention to detail in order to stand out as a photographer. Even if you have the best DSRL, it doesn’t automatically make you a photographer and goodness me, I think most people know that! Let’s not take people for idiots… So when people sign up for Instagram or buy the latest camera, they’re not telling the world “Look, I’m a photographer now”. They’re just enjoying a cool app on their mobile phones or a new gadget, so let’s give them a break and allow them to live a little, shall we? Apparently there are talks of a new Instagram camera. I can hear all the professional photographers kissing their teeth…

*New* On Christians who attended the WTT tour: I couldn’t care less if people choose to attend secular concerts, it is their prerogative. I was saying the other day on Twitter that I totally understand the excitement and the hype over this tour, although I can’t relate because I’m not a concert type of woman. When you enjoy a particular type of music and want to support your favourite artist, it’s a natural thing to want to attend their gigs. We live in a secular world, watch secular films, secular TV programs, read secular magazines, etc. That said, I do understand that when it comes to Jay-Z, there is a deeper aspect to it. Thus I’d like to say this: I have no idea if the Illuminati rumours are true, but what I do know is that some artists choose to create a buzz around them using certain methods, some choose conventional ways, while others opt for controversy and scandal. Sometimes the stuff is real, sometimes it’s all fake, it’s all part of a game (a dangerous one in this case, if you ask me). But do you know what? Jay-Z is loving the fact that everyone thinks he is from the Illuminati, it keeps him “relevant” and present on the blogs/music news sites and social networking sites! By discussing his possible involvement with the Illuminati, we are only fuelling this entire thing and giving him more spotlight. Anyway hip hop is not my preferred type of music anyway, so… NEXT.

On Michelle Obama and the “angry black woman” accusations:   We all know an angry black woman. I know way too many. And they have reasons to be angry. However the only angry black women I don’t mind having around me are the ones who actively go and be the change they want to see in the world; those who aren’t just angry, those who take the time to go and fight whatever injustice is making them angry, whatever prejudice; whether it is in society or in their private lives. Those angry back women who channel all that anger towards the right fights, for the right causes, through activism, etc. Those are the angry black women I don’t mind being around. The others are just angry for the sake of being angry and quite frankly, annoy the hell out of me. But wait a minute… What IS an angry black woman? Don’t angry white women exist too?

On Jay-Z vowing to stop using the B**** word: I think this will have to be my last Off the fence about the Carters but they seem to be dominating the entertainment news at the moment… So Jay-Z said that he vows to stop using the B**** word in his songs, since the birth of Blue Ivy. And the world is angry. Again. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I think it’s a bit late for him to be making a decision like this, I think he should have made that decision the moment he married Beyonce. In fact, just having a mum should be enough of a reason for him to NOT degrade women in anyway. So yeah, a bit late, Mr Carter. But here’s the thing: Isn’t this news supposed to be welcomed and accepted as something positive? A step forward, perhaps, for music and hip hop in general? A bit like when a rapper decides to stop using the N word. Isn’t it something to celebrate? Shouldn’t we be glad? or are we going to sit here, condemn him and hold this grudge against him forever? Ok it took the birth of his daughter to realise that women are not “objects”. But at least he’s seen the light and admitted his wrongs, no? Or am I too easy going about this?

On Beyonce’s baby name: I can’t believe the rumours that were started about Beyonce’s baby Blue Ivy, i.e. people saying that her name meant “Daughter of Lucifer” in Hebrew… Really? Really??? This child has only just arrived into the world. It’s a shame she was welcomed by all this negativity and controversy. And what’s even more shocking is that these false and absurd claims were started AND backed up by so-called Christians. Where is the love? Where is the respect? A child is a blessing from God and the Bible tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice. I’m happy for Beyonce and Jay-Z, I do not care about their child more than I care about my own, but you will NEVER hear me say anything negative about this baby, or her parents. I just don’t have a reason to be speaking negative stuff into these people’s lives, to be honest.

On the recent make-up debate: I was very sad to see the extent to which the Jenny Jenkins saga was exaggerated and how far it actually went… All the way to her Youtube account getting hacked (but thankfully she managed to retrieve all her videos). *sigh* *pause* Guys, can we please get over the fact that women wear make-up, weave and all sorts of beauty-enhancing things? Is it such a big deal? I mean, this has been the case for decades, why make a fuss about it now? Jenny Jenkins is a beautiful, trendy and talented lady with a passion for make-up. She just happens to have very uneven skin, which is why she wears so much make-up, to conceal some of the irregularities on her skin. This is a woman who learnt to make the most of her make-up. I actually think the way she does it really suits her. I was appalled by the amount of hatred and cyber-bullying aimed at her and I’m glad she’s managed to retrieve her videos. Make-up is a way to enhance a woman’s beauty and bring out certain facial features. Can we move on? Thanks.

On Celebrity divorces: Ketty Perry and Russel Brand, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett, Kobe and Vanessa Bryant, even Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries… Divorce seems to be a popular option among celebrities, and yes it is very sad. But none of us are in their marriage to really understand the problems that these couples go through. We tend to see celebrities as this collective group, which they are NOT. They are still individuals, living individual lives, individual relationships and going through problems that the rest of us [married folks] go through too. I always say this: Don’t look down on other people’s marital choices and mistakes until you’ve walked down the isle yourself. If you haven’t experienced the highs and lows of marriage, you really do not qualify to have an opinion on anyone else’s marriage. Damn it feels so good to be off the fence.

On leaving x’s at the end of text messages, emails and bbm messages etc. It fascinates me that people still debate over x’s at the end of messages, emails etc. Yes, an “x” means you are kissing the person, that’s what it has always meant and that’s probably what it will always mean. So when people ask: “But why so many xxxxxxx’es?” or “Why do girls send “xxx” to guys they don’t fancy or never intend to kiss? I tend to stare blankly at the person for a few seconds… For your information, I DO send x’s to both my male and female contacts, and if you are ever on the receiving end of my virtual kisses, whether it looks like this “x” or like this “xxxxxxx” well I have news for you, I AM kissing you, chances are I would probably kiss you in real life too, and that’s the end of it! Not worth debating! MWAH XXX

On Nigeria’s same sex marriage 14 year jail terms: Although this issue IS worth writing an entire 5,000 word essay on, I will file it under “Off The Fence” for now just because I haven’t had the time to read enough about it to elaborate. What I would say, however, is that I find the “punishment” absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary, yes, even as a Christian. This is not a measure that will eradicate homosexuality (if that’s what the Nigerian government is trying to do). This is a measure that will simply alienate and ostracise human beings from the rest of society, human beings who have committed no crime, human beings who are not a danger to society just for the simple fact that they are gay. Besides, Nigeria has MUCH more important issues to deal with. As a Christian I do not need to tell you my views about homosexuality, I adhere to Biblical scriptures that say that in the eyes of God, it is an abomination. And I will not sugar coat it. That said, I also believe God is love and that our approach towards homosexuality should reflect the kind of love that Jesus had when he embraced all kinds of people, including you and I; not their sin, but them as people. Human-inflicted shame, punishment, discrimination and ostracism is not the kind of response I adhere to when it comes to dealing with homosexuality, whether in society or in the church. Let GOD touch hearts. That’s all I’ll say.

On the Tulisa, Kelly and Misha ‘scandal’: The night it happened, I was actually quite angry. But not with Tulisa. What really got on my nerves was the response on Twitter; I quote “Why do confident black women always get called bullies?” etc. Four things: First of all, the judges: If these judges really want to call themselves mentors, they need to do what they are paid to do and mentor these kids, during the week, at the house, not on stage, especially since there are two sides to every story. Secondly, Misha: There is a difference between confidence and over-confidence. The former is attractive, commendable; the latter is an ugly trait to have. These people complained about her apparent over-confidence. What if she has been over-confident? What if she has been bullying people? What if she has made nasty comments to others? How do we know? Again, I would love to hear ALL sides of the story, but I know I never will. Thirdly: The Tulisa hate is getting a bit ridiculous now. People are saying “they’ve lost respect for Tulisa, they hate her etc.” Really?? The girl made a stupid mistake, can’t we all get over it? If that’s all it takes for you to “hate” people, it actually says a lot more about the type of person you are than the type of person she is. And fourthly: This is not about race. Let’s stop labelling it AGAIN as a race issue: “Black women this, black women that”. NO. SEVERAL people have complained about the nasty comments she’s made backstage, or in the house, God knows what these comments were… The issue needs to be dealt with, whether she is black or white.

On praying out loud: Everyone who knows me knows that I find it very hard to pray in public. But one thing I find even harder is to pray really loudly in public. When it comes to praying, I just can’t scream and shout, unless I’m praying against something very specific, in which case I take authority and go all out, ha! But when I speak to God my Father, I see prayer as ‘communication’ between Him and I; I don’t feel the need to scream and shout as I believe He hears my heart. That said, I have nothing against people who do scream and shout when they pray, prayer is a personal thing.

On Beyonce’s fake pregnancy rumours: After seeing the pictures and video of Bey’s ‘folding bump’, like many, I wondered what the hell was going on. But let’s be real here, Beyonce? faking a pregnancy? Nah. She’s definitely pregnant, but either her dress had some sort of padding underneath that folded bizarrely when she sat down, or she was wearing something to protect her bump, like a shield. Either way, it’s still weird, but definitely not a fake bump. I do hope she addresses it at some point though. It was quite funny too!

On Beyonce’s House Of Dereon Collection at Selfridges: I don’t like it. The pieces look very cheap, tacky, and they cost the Earth. I didn’t expect the collection to be great but this is a real disappointment. As soon as I read the description of the collection, I quote “exotic, glamourous and fierce” I knew it wouldn’t be for me anyway. I prefer classy, simple and elegant. But that’s me.

On racism in England: With Kelis’ recent racial abuse claims I feel compelled to say a quick word about what I really think of racism in England. I have to say I have never been a victim of racism in England, but I have been in Belgium, where I spent 10 years of my life. Racism is everywhere. However I think that Britain, compared to a lot of other countries in Europe, is quite a tolerant, multicultural and inclusive society, where ‘foreigners’, Africans, Caribeans, Asian people can be successful, can be at the top, can feel at home. This does not mean that racism should be brushed under the carpet, but I certainly do not agree with the idea that England as a whole is a ‘racist’ country.

On the London Riots: I believe each individual is responsible for their own actions. I did not condone any of the acts of violence committed during these riots and I still don’t. I do understand that there are social and political implications but I hate the way a peaceful protest for Mark Duggan was hijacked by rioters and looters to “prove a point”. I don’t think young people realise how lucky they are to live in Britain. Nothing is guaranteed in life, even going to university will not ‘guarantee’ a job, but it will increase your chances. Unemployment was used as the main excuse (some would say ‘reason’) for the riots. My advice to these people: Go to school, stay out of crime and work hard throughout your life. Even if you don’t get a job at the end of it, at least you know you’ve tried.