My 20 (honest) answers to the question “How’s married life?”

Just because I get asked this question on a regular basis…

1. Married life is what you make of it: It’s your job to make it interesting, to make it work and to make it last.

2. Married life only ‘feels right’ if you marry the right person: There’s nothing worse than realising you married the wrong person… Five years into the marriage.

3. Married life and wedding are two different things: The honeymoon period is different to life a few years into the marriage.

4. Married life requires an ongoing effort: You need to be innovative in order keep the fire burning.

5. Married life is not free: Rent, mortgage, bills, food, taxes, children etc. all cost money. Treat money differently, get your priorities right and save for the future.

6. Married life takes a while to get used to: New mindset, new habits, new person sharing ‘your personal space’, this may take a while to get accustomed to but with a bit of compromise, respect and understanding you will eventually learn to cohabit.

7. Married life involves dialogue: If you often find yourself reciting or listening to monologues, something isn’t right. Know when to talk, know when to stop and listen.

8. Married life is much better when there is spontaneity: Break that routine every now and then, surprise your spouse, bring in new ideas etc.

9. Married life is a partnership: Share everything, from chores to money.

10. Married life is rarely just ‘good’ or ‘bad’: Sometimes it’s incredibly amazing, sometimes it’s okay, sometimes it’s a nightmare – every couple goes through these phases.

11. Married life and children do go together: Be fruitful and multiply. However do not feel under pressure to have children straight away, enjoy the ‘honeymoon’ period, take your time (and prepare!!) before you start having babies.

12. Married life is still life: A lot changes, but your life does not have to end – you can still enjoy your [social] life and have fun but as with all things, freedom does have its limitations.

13. Married life requires much more than just ‘love’: It needs trust, respect, loyalty, good communication, honesty, transparency and a strong spiritual foundation.

14. Married life cannot survive without physical and emotional intimacy: Not just sex but good sex. Not just communication but good communication.

15. Married life is a learning curve: You never cease to learn new things about your spouse and there are lessons to be learnt from every conflict and situation.

16. Married life is a journey, not a destination: It doesn’t matter if you get things wrong the first few months or even the first few years, you have a lifetime of life together ahead of you, there will be plenty of time to learn and grow together.

17. Married life is not what marriage-sceptics says it is: It is not just a piece of paper, unless you treat it as such.

18.  Married life is a risk, but a risk worth taking: No one, apart from God, knows whether your marriage will last or not. All you can do is work at it, put in the necessary effort, trust your spouse, enjoy it and be confident in your union.

19. Married life is a gift: Finding someone who truly loves you and commits to spending the rest of their lives with you is a gift, something to cherish and be grateful for. Never take it for granted – you are blessed.

20. Married life only works when the vows are taken seriously til death do us part.

Category : Inspirational & personal
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